Missing Don...

Five days before my scheduled flight back to Toronto for the summer, and just a few days after Colette left, the terrible phone call from Susie came, with the tragic news of Don's passing. It was in a restaurant in Toronto, where mom and Don were awaiting Susie and Bill's arrival, for a dinner together before heading off to the Blue Jay game. A massive heart attack ended his life in an instant. Although for Don, it was indeed a quick and painless death, it was very difficult for all of us who loved him, who never got any warning and no chance to say good-bye. Don was such a special man and wonderful human being. He was very special to me, to Robert and to Andrew and is sorely missed by all of us, not to mention my mom, and the endless list of loving friends and family he had. The number of people at his funeral in Buffalo was indeed a testament to how much he was loved, and by how many. The eulogy that Susie delivered, alongside Lorraine and I, was outstanding. Here it is:

Don’s Eulogy
When my mom first started mentioning this Don Smith fellow, we didn’t really know what to think and were definitely a bit sceptical. Then, when she was talking about marriage so soon after they had met, we really thought she’d gone nuts. However, as soon as we met him, it became so clear how happy they were and what a special person he was. I can assure you, all scepticism quickly vanished.
Don fit so easily into all of our lives and truly wanted to be a part of everything. We felt a connection with him immediately – he was so easy to talk to and to get to know. Almost from the beginning of their relationship, he became the source of fatherly wisdom and grandfatherly love that our lives had been missing. He was very quickly a welcome member of our family and he fit right in. He was the most loving and caring husband we could have ever asked for for our mom. He adopted us and our kids as his own. Don was an invaluable support to all of us. No matter what was going on, he was always there. If we needed help, without a moment’s hesitation, he would drop what he was doing to lend a hand. Whether it was for advice on career changes, relationship counselling, help with moving or just babysitting, Don was always around and was proud to help out. Just recently he spent hours upon hours researching the purchase of new appliances for Lorraine – the pages of notes and quotes and consumer reports were endless. His generosity knew no bounds.
He bonded immediately with all of my mom’s wonderful friends. I think when they saw them together at one of their first gatherings dressed up as Sonny and Cher ....and he wasn’t the one playing Sonny, we all knew he was a great match for our mom. In this past week, the phone messages, the letters and emails pouring in and the presence of all here today is a testament to what a valued friend Don was to so many. I know that many of my mom’s friends felt that they’d known Don for years.
Not only was he amazing in his treatment of my mother and us, but it was so heart warming to see the relationship he had with his kids. The way Don spoke of them, their spouses and the grand kids, it was so evident how much he loved them all. We would always ask how they were all doing and he would be able to tell us exactly what each of them had been up to in an almost up to the minute report. He was definitely a father to be envied. It meant so much to him to keep such close tabs on everyone’s lives, including all of his family and friends. No matter where my mom and Don went, he always kept in contact. Every cruise or trip they went on, Don provided us with a full account of every detail of their day, right down to every morsel of food that was consumed. No question about it, Don savoured every moment of his life!
We learned so many things from Don in the years that he was with us. We’d like to share a few of them.
10 things we learned from Don
Family and friends are the most important things in life.
For some people, it doesn’t matter how long they are in your life... they can impact it forever .
Even the most patient of men have their breaking points. For Don, it was getting stuck behind a slow guy in traffic. There was only way to get from A to B.... the fastest way.
A beer , whether in a pint glass or a bottle, can be consumed in one swallow with minimal effort
Despite major technological advances, cell phones are still not water proof... Don learned that lesson several times
A rather large man plus a minor case of imbalance plus a small fishing boat can equal a shipwreck within seconds.
Hanging mirrors with tape probably isn’t the best idea.
A hug from a man like Don really can make everything better.
Nothing melts your heart like seeing a grandpa making his grandchildren laugh... and he was certainly the best at it.
Love can be found at any age.... and it is definitely worth waiting for.

Don lived every day like it might be his last and he definitely made the most out of each and every day. I used to get exhausted just hearing about all of their plans for travelling whether it was exploring South America or the Baltic Sea or just driving down to Florida with 10 stops along the way to see various family and friends. Somebody was always coming for a visit, maybe just for dinner or sometimes to stay for a week. They were always going out – to golf or for dinner with friends – they had the most active social life of anyone we knew. Mom has recently said that they put a really good dent into their “bucketlists” in the past couple of years..... We should all learn from him and focus more on living for the moment. Life throws curve balls and we never know what lies around the corner and Don has taught us that each day is a precious gift to be filled with as much adventure, happiness , laughter and love as possible.
Don Smith will be missed by so many. He was a remarkable man who always had a sparkle in his eye. He could easily brighten up even the darkest of days. With no effort at all, he put a brilliantly lit smile on my mother’s face and, without a doubt, he has touched all of our lives. We consider him an amazing gift to us who will be remembered and loved forever.

...Don's absence in my mom's house in Oakville was ever so present throughout the duration of the summer. I was very happy to be able to be there with my mom during some of the darkest moments, and Andrew provided a wonderful distraction to the sadness and grief we were all feeling.